Well, well, mewf! I wuz mindin' my own bizniss last nite, when Mom got home from goin' owt wif her dotters. She got owt a toy, an Munchkin, as usual, wuz hoggin' it. Well, I wuz just walkin' in da hall, takin' a stroll like I allus to, an out of nowhere, wif no warning at all, Munchie pownced at da toy, an she landed right on top of me!! Nacherly, I screamed, cuz it skeered me, comin frum behind an all.
I wuz furry upset, and did not calm down at all until after mom put me safe unner da covers in her bed! She had to give me extry pets an cuddles. I wuz furry upset. Dat Munchkin is a toy hog an a klutz and she no watches where she iz goin! Iz not da first time she haz at least bumped into me. I no likes. Iz bad enuf I haz to take medicins dat makes me sleepy alla time, wifowt havin to put up wif dat kinda stuff.
Now, Patches, you knows you iz allus walkin unnerfoot an trippin da beans, so I no wanna heerz about any 'not watchin where I iz goin!' You just walks around in a haze an you no watch where you're goin! Iz not my fawlt you wuz in da way of my game!
But Patches iz rite abowt you bein a toy hog! I gits furry little play time, cuz you allus chase first, and scare me away frum da toyz. Tigger runs off, too, an hides. An you know what? Mom caught you, Munchkin, doin' a furry notty fing. She saw you in da litter box, liftin up yur butt and sprayin offur da top of da box! You made a puddle on da floor, so iz not allus Patches doin dat, I finks! Dat wuz not furry lady-cat-like, Munchie! What will Inigo say??? Hmmm.... You iz allus tellin tales about effurrybuddy else. You iz no angel!
Signed, Jigsaw Puzzle.